Mac and Cheese, Please

I needed fuel the night before I ran the 2012 LA Marathon. What did I choose?

Aw, you know it: A box of Kraft Maracroni & Cheese!

(Ran it in 4:03:03. Not bad for my first marathon… I was really just trying to beat Oprah.)

A mysterious package arrived on my doorstep the other day, and immediately I start thinking “What could it be?” I haven’t ordered anything online. What’s it doing here?

Birthday? Months away.

Anniversary? Weeks ago.

St. Patrick’s Day? Who sends gifts on St. Patrick’s Day?

Well, who is it from? “M & C.” No further return address. The postage indicates it was mailed from Lincoln, NE. I don’t think I know anyone (and a quick cross-check of Facebook seems to agree) in Nebraska.

Mysterious Package

WIth no clue as to who it’s from or why it was sent, the only way to get to the bottom of this is to ask the one question that’s guaranteed to have an answer:

What’s inside?

An Internet Miracle.

Internet Miracle

A yellow Tupperware colander.

The likes of which you might recognize from here.

And a letter which reads:

It was with great sadness that I read of the destruction of your sacred relic by your inept father.

Parents - can’t live with them, wouldn’t be here without them.

Under your tutelage and patience may this bequest assuage your grief and in some small measure help fill the emptiness its demise has left.

It is not intended to replace; but rather to afford you an opportunity to build anew and forge a bond; perhaps not steeped in the glorious traditions of the past but reaching to a future filled with Mac and Cheese recipes that will not only do it honor but fulfill the palate of the discerning adult it appears that you have become.

Humbly,

A fellow Mac & Cheese Connoisseur

Holy Macaroni! It’s an internet miracle! I immediately text people. “Do you know anything about a colander? Did you send this package?” Alex knew nothing about it. Nor did my partner. Nobody I asked had any clue. I have no idea how many people have seen this blog. Only five or six of my friends have ever even mentioned it. We don’t update much. There’s really no reason for me to expect that this has had an impact on anyone. But you never can tell with the internet.

Thank you, anonymous internet friend. Thank you for this gift. This amazing display of kokua. Thank you for the tremendous grin and the excitement of mystery and the great story I get to tell about a mysterious package. To you I say: May your noodles never overcook, may your toppings always crisp, and may a thousand cheeses fill your belly with warmth and comfort for all of your days.

If you’re ever in LA, shoot me a line and we’ll grab some Mac & Cheese.

After a brief visit with Alex and a full day of crawling around the LA Convention Center for E3 this year, pangs of hunger and waves of exhaustion coursed through the weary bag of skin and bones I call home.

What better way to refuel than with a bowl of Macaroni & Cheese?

With a deal from Living Social queued up on the ol’ smartphone, we headed over to Lou, a wine bar/restaurant on Vine.

While my companions dined on delectable dishes ranging from rib-eye to scallops, I narrowed my focus to an item calling out like a semolina siren: Macaroni & Cheese With Hook’s 10-Year Cheddar.

A delicious bowl indeed.

Well-cooked noodles. Delicious topping. Creamy cheese with a hearty cheddar flavor. Satisfying.

When my companions asked to sample my dish, I stabbed at them with my fork and suggested they get a bowl to share. We ended up with three at the table. (And I strongly considered a fourth.)

Top it all off with a friendly staff serving our delicious food and it was the perfect way to end the day.

(Better than some dumb old Nintendo party, Alex)

Returning items to IKEA and eating Mac and Cheese has been something of a theme around here as of late.

Needing a quick snack after an afternoon of hauling around some improbably named items, I felt a stop at the IKEA cafe for some of their Macaroni and Cheese would be just the thing to fill me up.

IKEA Macaroni and Cheese

Hmm.

If you think that IKEA is mostly bland and full of cardboard, have I got the Macaroni and Cheese for you!

Actually, it wasn’t that bad, though the noodles were over-cooked to the point where it seemed only the most tenuous of molecular bonds were holding them together. It had a homogeneous and slightly gritty texture with a strong hint of “cheddar”–not cheddar, but “cheddar” (quotation marks necessary)–that I couldn’t quite place.

It wasn’t until I was almost finished eating the IKEA Macaroni and Cheese that I realized what it reminded me of: a hot, fully-chewed mouthful of Cheez-It brand crackers. Except that I hadn’t chewed the Macaroni and Cheese yet.

Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but it went down okay.

This is about the lowest grade of Macaroni and Cheese that I would willingly eat again. It’ll do in a pinch, but I wouldn’t make a pilgrimage for it.

Family gatherings are sometimes occasions of joy and sharing, comfort and togetherness. And sometimes they are just occasions of your parents breaking your stuff.

As a result of my father’s use of the Sacred Mac and Cheese Colander to drain some spinach–apparently with extreme prejudice–I no longer have a working Sacred Mac and Cheese Colander.

Lo! The Sacred Mac and Cheese Colander is dead:

My love for you will never die.

Long live the Sacred Mac and Cheese Colander!

(Your weeping is appreciated.)

Looking for an Alton Brown recipe for oven roasted broccoli, my eyes saccaded upon this tasty little morsel on FoodNetwork.com:

America Loves Mac & Cheese

That’s right… the #1 and #3 spots belong to Mac & Cheese: DOMINATION!

Spoon.

On a recent trip to Barbados I had the pleasure of sampling one of the nation’s specialties: macaroni pie.

The noodles are thin and quite long, around two inches or so, and usually a mild tomato sauce works nicely with the cheese.

You can find it everywhere–it’s often featured on the menu in the hundreds of rum shops that dot the island, emblazoned with Banks Beer or Mount Gay logos. It’s served for lunch and dinner and makes a great snack.

I had my first mac pie at the weekly Oistins Fish Fry, where it seems half the island turns out for a night of food, drink, and dancing. The noodles were long and tender and the tomato sauce was hearty. There wasn’t much of a crust on top, but overall it was very satisfying.

Oistins Mac Pice

But mac pie isn’t not just a roadside staple or festival fare. I had my finest macaroni pie at David’s Place, a pleasant restaurant overlooking the sea.  This was some high class casserole, my friends. Not as creamy as a traditional American macaroni dish, but the light notes of tomato and the fluffiness of the dish, almost quiche-like, made this one of my favorite meals on the island.

Macaroni Pie at David's Place by the Sea

If you ever find your way down to the beautiful island of Barbados, the people are friendly, the rum flows freely, and the macaroni pie is fantastic.

My business trip to Seattle last month turned out to be very mactacular.  On the same day as the Beecher’s Experience, I went out for dinner at the swanky El Gaucho.  For the dinner event, there was a set menu, and much to my surprise they brought out this amazing dish of what looked like, no, could it be!?  Was this another top ten candidate?

Being that my top ten list isn’t yet full pretty much every mac that crosses my path is a candidate, but this one looked positively worthy!

Gaucho Mac and Coastal Cheddar Cheese

This tangy little number has enough crunchables on top to soak up excess juices while simultaneously (and magically?) remaining crispy and luscious. It’s got a coastal cheddar cheese sauce that practically leaps off your fork, flies screaming into your mouth and punches your taste buds in the face with FLAVOR! The consistency is perfect–not too soupy and not too spackley. The $12 price tag may scare you away, but the serving is big enough to share with 4 - 6 people, and for a mac this good, the experience alone is worth the price of admission.

I’d like to take this opportunity to lie and say that I put that spoon in the picture in honor of my blog cohort Jesec who eats his mac with a spoon. Even though Jesec was not present, my thoughts were with him as I upheld my membership status in the clean plate club.

Oh, everyone at the table tried it, but I finished it.  Trust me on that one.

As a side-note, during the dinner I became friends with some of the other folks at the table who seemed to know a little more about mac and cheese than they had first let on.  As I started talking about the shapes of pasta, one of them stopped me in my tracks and using his blackberry, directed me to both the English Wikipedia article on macaroni as well as the Italian article about maccheroni.  In these articles, it is revealed that Penne is a TYPE of maccheroni!

Penne. A type of maccheroni.

So, those of you thinking that elbows are the only true macaroni, think again. Jesec, I’m lookin’ at you…

This one is a big ol’ “Winner”.

Beecher’s Handmade Cheese in Seattle, Washington touts their mac as the best mac.  Well, being in Seattle on business, I just had to put them to the test.

At the famous Pike Place Market, you’d be hard pressed to find any locals that don’t know of this magical elixer of goo, this lucious noodle-laced nectar that is the “‘World’s Best’ Mac & Cheese“.  In fact, I got slightly lost on my way to the humble cheese shop and was directed there in no time by a friendly mac & cheese loving passer-by who claimed that his wife’s mac & cheese is better than Beecher’s.  I asked if he knew that Beecher’s is actually the “World’s Best” and he seemed to dodge my question, not wanting to offend the Pike Place mac & cheese mafia, I assume.

Beecher's Cheese Gnomes in their natural habitat

At Beecher’s, they make their own cheese, which seems pretty cool.  You can even watch the Cheese Gnomes as they go about their business on the other side of the glass.  It was kind of like being in an aquarium while eating seafood (which literally and honestly happened the night before), though, so I turned around as to not be put off as I ran their two types of mac & cheese through our rigorous macandcheeseplease tasting process.

<-- "World's Best" & Mariachi -->

The two macs & cheese that they offer are the “World’s Best” Mac & Cheese and the Mariachi Mac & Cheese. Let me tell you, eating two of these back to back is definitely a feat of endurance as the sauce is mighty. Each of these macs has a very nice consistency, the cheese is tart, and the noodles are cooked just right.

In the “World’s Best”, there’s a slight hint of peppery goodness that tickles the palatte in all the right ways. Aside from the aforementioned pepperiness, this mac is your baseline.  It is standard mac.

In the Mariachi, they’ve thrown in some peppers, tomatoes, and other vegetables that were difficult to recognize, but that reminded me of onions and corn.  This mac is spicier, but not too spicy.  It’s got a nice subtle zing to it that I dare say even children could abide.  This is like mac+.

I would say that each were equally good, and that you really couldn’t replace one for the other.  They are macs for different occasions.  But, are they the World’s Best?  Or at least, is the one pictured on the left?

My verdict is that no, they are not the World’s Best.

But they are mighty good.  In fact, these macs definitely make it into my top ten list.  If you are ever in Seattle and you’re looking for a good mac, you really should treat yourself to a Beecher’s mac.

These are definitely “Winners”.

So, Jesec and I recently dined at Blair’s Restaurant & Cafe to partake of the Truffle Mac that Jesec likes so very very much.

While this mac & cheese was certainly good, and I would probably order it again, I was not as impressed as I expected to be.

It’s a fairly standard mild white-sauced beast, but with truffle oil and SQUARE-HOLED MACARONIES!   As I’m sure you can tell, I was most impressed with the shape of the noodles.

Word to the wise… if you’re relying on the shape of your noo-noos to carry your mac & cheese dish, you may want to rethink your recipe.

To be fair, Jesec still vouches for Blairs Truffle Mac, and he also was underwhelmed by the dishes we had that night.  Maybe it was an off night. Sadly, though, there’s so much more mac & cheese to try in this world and very little time to do it in.

If I ever find my way back to Blair’s, I’ll try it again, but I’m not going to be going out of my way.

This one’s a “Middler”.